


Life's funny that way

by AGoodFrog



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Oh wait, That's pretty much it?, not non-magical tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:23:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5603146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGoodFrog/pseuds/AGoodFrog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes” au (<a href="http://janefosters.co.vu/post/113938886123/list-of-trash-aus-i-need-immediately-hey-we">x</a>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life's funny that way

**Author's Note:**

> it should also be mentioned that i tagged the post i found this is in with 
> 
> #THE BURGER ONE IS JILY #sorry i'm all about james potter being WEAK and lily evans being amused

It’s 4am, and her head hurts, and this bloody sticky air in here is driving her mad. Also, her feet ache from standing behind the cash register all night long. Really, if Lily wasn’t in such dire need of money, she never would’ve gotten that shit job at McMerlin’s. As it is, she does need the money – so for the time being she’s stuck in here.  
  
The worst thing is though, that the store's completely empty. Like, Lily could be lying in her bed just about now and it would _not_  make a single difference. Not even a tiny, single one. It’s just so, so frustrating.  
  
‘Only another thirty minutes,’ she reminds herself for good measure.  
  
‘Thirty minutes and you can…’ Well apparating would probably not be the best idea in her bone-tired state. Thirty minutes and she can take the Knight Bus home, she supposes. It’s a bit embarrassing, because it’s actually meant to be a means of transport for lost witches and wizards, but she knows the co-driver from school, so it’s usually no problem.  
  
‘Shipzz… Chips ‘n a burrrrgerrrr.’ (There’s a laugh as if drawing out words is the most hilarious thing in the world.)  
  
And with that, her mind ceases to be distracted and her eyes snap to the costumer standing in front of her. He has black hair, as untidy as it gets, and even in his obvious drunken state his hazel eyes look far too alive, like he’s really _looking_ at her. It’s a bit unsettling really, she’s never learned how to deal with it.  
  
Lily sighs. Sometimes she thinks she could move to the moon and she wouldn’t be free of him. He’d probably move into the lunar crater next to her on accident, or something equally ridiculous. Her life’s funny that way.  
  
‘Potter.’  
  
Potter furrows his brows and his eyes narrow behind his square glasses, studying her. Then something like recognition flashes in his eyes and he beams at her.  
  
‘Evans!’ he exclaims, excited. Lily would say that he looks like Christmas has come early, but somehow that doesn’t seem to do his totally hammered smile justice. It’s just so wide and blinding, and surprisingly genuine, and his eyes glow and crinkle with the force of it. A bit overwhelming all in all.  
  
And Lily, Lily finds herself smiling back.

(Stupidedly smiling back, she’d say if she could see herself right now. Lucky for her, she can’t.)  
  
‘So… Chips and a burger it is,’ she says after realising that he doesn’t seem likely to say anything anytime soon. ‘A speechless James Potter,’ Lily muses chuckling as she turns around to prepare his food. ‘Miracles do happen, it seems. I’ll have to tell Alice tomorrow, she won’t believe me.’  
  
Absentmindedly, she wonders what he’s doing here. At this time in the night, all alone. Sirius, or at least Peter, should be here with him, shouldn’t they? The thought of him wandering through the streets, all drunk and alone (defenceless), plants a stab of worry in her stomach. She’s going to have a word with Remus first thing in the morning, she decides. Not even James Potter should be going through London at night. It’s dangerous, for Merlin’s sake, really. What is he thinking?  
  
‘Probably nothing,’ her brain supplies, ever as helpful. Which is most likely true.  
  
Glancing back curiously, Lily can see that James is now trying to lean back onto a column on his left side, carefully, slowly as if he’s not quite sure how to connect the stone and his back. He keeps ruffling his hair in a constant flutter of motions, and has a troubled look on his face. It’s kind of adorable, Lily has to admit. He’s trying way too hard to appear cool and casual.  
  
A fact that is proven when she turns around completely, and his eyes go wide before he stumbles and slips, flailing as he attempts to stay vaguely upright.  
  
‘Way to impress ‘er, Prongs,’ he mumbles and Lily laughs. James sends her a lopsided smile in response and takes the tablet Lily is offering him. He hands her his wallet in exchange. ‘Jus’ take what you need,’ he says shrugging and makes his way to the nearest table. Leaving Lily standing behind the counter in what is a bit of a helpless way. This boy is ridiculous and way too careless, for fuck’s sake (and definitely too rich, she could never give someone her purse, it’s an instinct).  
  
She takes out the money and, because she can’t help herself, looks at the pictures he has in there.

There’s one of the Marauders, all four together, grinning wildly into the camera and pulling faces. Then there’s one of Sirius and James alone: It looks like it was taken just before the holidays, in Sixth year after Gryffindor’d won the Cup with James as their captain. They are alternating between standing there arm in arm, ruffling each other’s hair (to Sirius’ great dismay) or shoving each other good-naturedly. The whole picture looks like it can barely contain their happiness, like it’s bursting with it. It’s a little amazing.  
  
There’s a third picture in there and it kind of shocks Lily. She’d known that it existed of course. Owns a copy of it in fact, and while it doesn’t sit in her WALLET nor stands on her bedside table, she _has_  glued it neatly into her photo album. It’s a nice picture, shows Lily and James in the Heads Office. He’s standing next to her, arm around her shoulder, a slight blush and a silly grin on his face. She’s not better off, faced flushed and beaming because working with him had been surprisingly fun.  
  
She hadn’t expected it to be in his wallet though. All in all, Lily’s not entirely sure what she should think of it but… Knowing she’s that important to him makes her feel a little giddy.  
  
Smiling to herself, she looks in James’ direction where that idiot is struggling to bring his burger from his hands into his mouth. She rolls her eyes and fetches her bag. Her shift’s over anyway, Marlene should be here any second to take over. So, well, it really doesn’t make any difference if Lily starts taking care of that tosser now instead of in ten minutes. (And no, there is no internal struggle involved here. After Seventh year it isn't even a question.)

‘Hey Potter,’ Lily sits down on the couch at James’ table. His head jolts upwards in a matter of seconds and with a speed that Really Cannot Be Healthy. ‘Alwight Evans,’ he… replies? Lily isn’t even sure if that’s considered conversation, but it is undeniably a bit difficult to take James Potter serious with salad hanging out of his mouth and dangling in his messy black hair.

After a while he goes back to eating his burger, with furrowed brows, determined as if he’s DARING the burger to betray him. The burger’s content, meanwhile, is sliding dangerously from one side to the other. Every time James tries to take a bit, his mouth comes back vaguely empty. It’s a rather entertaining sight, she has to admit. Lily is kind of tempted to record it (very tempted actually). For blackmailing purposes, of course. Not because she’s fond of him or anything. Not even with ketchup on his nose and salad in his hair.

Instead she starts saying, ‘Yeah… Listen… I’m not sure that eating thing you’re attempting to do is working out. Merlin, how much Firewhiskey did you have?’

James looks at her, pouting and trying to look at her with doe-eyes. It’s not working. At all. (It totally is.)

Lily snorts. ‘You _know_ , only Sirius can work that, don’t you?’ She’s lying. Sirius admittedly is a lot better at it, but… Well, she’d rather not think about that.

‘However,’ Lily stands up and slings her bag over her shoulder in a very business-like way, ‘come on, you’re in no state to apparate, not even side-apparate for fuck’s sake, so I’m taking you to your flat. I know the way, I’ve been there, as you no doubt remember so do get up, please.’

James looks a little as if that was a bit much to take in, but as soon as Lily extends her hand, he’s up in no time, flinging the burger across the whole store.

‘I’m going to pretend this hasn’t happened just now.’ A small smile appears on her face as James takes her hand. It shouldn’t feel this right, should it? This comfortable? This nice? Oh Merlin.

He’s swaying a bit as they make their way outside, Marlene passing them with a raised eyebrow. Lily just shrugs helplessly. No, she doesn’t know either.

What she does know is that she’s got a bottle of 'water' in her bag that she’s going to give him now. ‘Here, drink up,’ she orders and thrusts the bottle at him. He takes it and does drink from it. Afterwards, he seems a little less drunk (yes, potion’s really her area) and she deems it safe to apparate with him. He’s properly woken her up now anyway.

‘Hold on close to me, Potter,’ she says grinning. James just goes to stand nearer to her (he’s so warm, it’s terrible) and smiles. ‘Okay.’ (Maybe he isn’t as less drunk as he’d appeared to be. No dirty joke whatsoever? What’s happening here?)

She focuses on her memory of his (rather big) flat with Sirius and Remus and Peter and starts to apparate. She’s not entirely fond of the procedure, but it’s efficient and Lily Evans is all about efficiency.

When they appear on his door step a second later, James is still smiling contently.

‘You smell nice,’ he mumbles and snuggles to her side. (Lily's not at all as startled as she should be. True, James and Sirius have never been known to succumb to the rules of personal space. It just never _really_ extended to her, too.)

‘You’re a weird drunk, James, you know that?’ She smiles fondly and her eyes are full of laughter. He’s a bit cute. A tiny bit. Not more.

Lily entangles herself from James. (As shit as it sounds, she never knew a night could be this cold.) He looks a bit put out, but he gives her his keys after she’s asked for them and turns to go inside.

‘James?’ He stops to look at her and his eyes close quickly because he’s greeted with a flash.

‘Goodnight,’ Lily says, pockets her phone again and apparates home.

There, a stupid smile on her face, she sends Remus the picture with the caption

 

‘Turns out you do have a very badly behaved rabbit at home. Look at all this salad! No idea how he’s done that. xx Use it wisely. And don’t be a stranger, yeah?’

 

 

* * *

 

The next morning when she checks her phone, she’s got quite a lot of messages back.

‘Not bad, not bad. Cheers, Evans.’ Accompanied with loads of laughing emoticons (from Sirius),

You… could say that, I guess. I will by the way. No worries.’ (from Remus),

‘Who was that cute guy from yesterday? Couldn't have been James Potter by any chance? And what has he done with that burger? I will need chocolate compensation for that! I shouldn’t’ve had to clean that shit up. Anyway, tell me EVERYthing. I want details!’ (from Marlene),

loads of monkey emojis (from Peter) and…

‘Alright, Evans? Yeah… I thought I should probably get you a butterbeer for your efforts yesterday. Wanna meet up? You could probably give me my wallet back on that occasion too? Just a suggestion.’ (from James)

Lily shakes her head and chuckles while grabbing her bag and fishing for James’ wallet. After she’s found it, she takes out the photo of them both. There’s a softness in her eyes and warmth in her stomach as she looks at it.

Fate really has a way of assigning James Potter a foolproof place in her life, hasn’t it? And honestly? Lily’s not complaining.

 

**Author's Note:**

> too bad that in this AU, lily doesn't know the Animagus secret yet so i couldn't include a ketchup-rudolph joke what a pity :(


End file.
